Friday, February 12, 2010
SATIRE — British No. 1 tennis star Andy Murray has inked a $3.2 million deal with Colgate toothpaste and he does not necessarily have to use the product.
Colgate spokesman David Hork said that he personally spoke to Murray and had very few specific requirements in order to fulfill his contractual obligations.
"Basically we want to see more of what Andy Murray does best and that is to roar like a lion and show everyone his pearly whites. Whether Murray wins or not, is hardly consequential to our endorsement; as long as he is plenty happy or frustrated, then we are happy."
Andy Murray's dentist is equally happy about this, but not for the same reason. "I have been after him since he was a kid to use Colgate. I hope they urge him to use the product because he does not come to see me that often.
"I have resorted to blowing up his photo (see above) to find out if there is any significant decay in his teeth."
The dentist who refused to be named went on about the above photo. "You see the upper left corner in Murray's mouth? Check out sector E4. There is a cavity in the waiting my friend, and you can't air brush that!
"I get frustrated when I see these pictures not only because of the incoming cavities, but also because I can never get him to open his mouth this wide when he is in my chair."
Rumors that a pending Scope Mouthwash endorsement are awash much to the chagrin of the front row of fans who are closest to Murray when he wins or loses a point.