The Northern Star

When one looks to Youtube for Canadian artists writing on Canada, usually many parodies in rock, pop and other genres can be found.  The only really serious Canadian anthem is O Canada.  I thought I would add this one to the fray.  It is fairly simple as I wanted the emphasis to be on the audio and not the video. 

I am sure someone else can come along and make an awesome video.  Just let me know.  My specialty is more for writing music and words. 

Charlie Sheen: My Fedy-Rafi Analysis (Satire)

A great big hello to all of you out in Sheenland.  My goddesses and I just watched last night's Feddy-Rafi match.  It ended up with Rafi (winning!) shellacking Fedy 
I want to give you the Sheen on this matchup and the rivalry in general.  Rafi has tiger blood.  He also got a lot of help from me.  I stared at the television screen and I willed him to win that second set.  Fedy was all set to break Rafi in the first game of that second set but this warlock had something to say about it.  A couple of sniffs, a wave of my bewitched hands and it was apocalypse now for Fedy.  Hello, Fedy, loser!

Now I want to clear up a few pointers on Rafi N.  People say he is gracious and humble.  That is pure adulturated bullsh*t!!   He does not have a humble bone in his body.  He believes, no, he KNOWS he is way better than Fedy.  He's got tiger blood for crying out loud!  Did he congratulate Fedy on a great game.  DUH NO!  He pointed out that Fedy was WEAK in the second set (thanks to you know who, DUH SHEEN!).  He said Fedy made lots of errors.  UH...Roger that!! Rafi is the greatest and how he really feels is that he (like me) dominates his field and will rightly point to the faults of those he conquers.  Don't believe me?  Check every time he beats the Fedy on clay.  He says the same thing.  "Roger made mistakes."  I love a guy who wins and lets everyone know how weak the loser is.  Humility is for losers and Rafi is not a loser.  Duh! How many grand slams does he already have?  He is a teenager  with tiger blood. Okay, he is going to be 25 but I am an old teenager and I still party like it's 1985.  Me and him, we're teens that will go on forever.  WINNING!

This Fedy guy should go back yodeling in the Austrian Alps where he came from.  Give it up, man.  Your warlock days are over and I will push Rafi or Jokie to beat you simply by using my sheen mind. 
Fedy is a LOSER.  I mean, he lost what....already four games this season.  COME ON!  That is not....WINNING!   So what if he beat Rafi last November.  I cured it with my brain. Now it doesn't count.

Nobody hits a seven gram rock like Rafi except me.  That's how we roll.  We don't need to feel sorry for those we conquer because we're WINNING.  I want Rafi to come to my place and share this drug.  It will make him even more of a warlock and it cannot be detected because of its supersonic tiger blood.  The drug is called Charlie Sheen. I am the best at what I do and he is the best at what he does and IT IS ON.

Is Rafi the greatest tennis rock star ever? DUH!  He is really bitchin'.  Anyone who challenges him will be up against him and me.  BRING IT!  Be prepared to lose and be humiliated.  That's how we roll.  Fedy who?  Forgot who we were talking about.  He must have gotten sheened.  He wants my magic but I am too busy WINNING!  He can't handle my power when I watch his match with Rafi.  His perimeter has been breached.  He can't ruffle the assassin's feathers because I have already defeated him with my words.

Scientists Isolate "Sin" Gene: Religion Rendered Obsolete

Leading scientists at the University of Maryland have reportedly isolated the "sin" gene.  "We've struggled with its whereabouts for years.", declared German professor Helmut Blaupunkt.  "The only reason we have consistently located it is because of its tell-tale horns.", he revealed.  "This means the end of murder, torture, fornication and other indecent human acts throughout the ages.  Science be praised!", exclaimed Dr. Blaupunkt. 

Many scientists were ecstatic and called for the implementation of the removal of genes during the process of childbirth.  Others were not sure and raised objections.  Doctor Hellbent, a university professor at Stanton was one of those concerned.   "Do the rest of us want to live out the rest of our lives, constantly being judged by this new race of Jesus and Mary clones?  I mean there was enough trouble just to try and follow two and now there is going to be millions!", he shrugged.  

Scientists have confirmed over and over that there is no mistaking this "sin" gene.  Once removed they have observed a gold halo form above the head of the subjects.  Also noted was the subjects' speech pattern had changed considerably.  Before isolation, modern English verbs were employed.  However, after the isolation procedure, English verbs were changed to add a "eth" sound at the end of each one.  Thus, verbs like "runneth", "sayeth," "jumpeth", "walketh" and "burpeth" were regularly incorporated into their speech patterns.

The world religious leaders were resigned to the results and were tremendously dismayed.  The Pope himself called for calm on this sober, dark day.  "You no longer need our guidance.  Go forth and sin no more which I know you will do.  Before closing up shop, we will hold confessions for those wishing to hold on to their "sin" gene a bit longer."

Another group seriously affected was the US bible belt.  Statisticians immediately noticed that both crime and scandals immediately dipped once the effects of isolating the gene appeared within the said areas.  Another noticeable effect was the intense raised level of IQ and literacy.   Not only could everyone read, but their increase interest in diversity was extraordinary.